Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Archer's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, December 10th, 2009
2:02 am	Happy Birthday slave A big happy birthday for my slave Elegant. I Love you and my life is richer for you being in it. Master (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 22nd, 2008
10:22 am	10..........5.........3,2,1, Blast off First off my thanks to all the folks who wished Elegant and I a happy anniversary. 10 years and I have not changed my mind that collaring Elegant was the best life decision I have ever made. The woman may be challenging to own but she has proven her worth to me many times over. 5 years after marrying her and still finding new and interesting things out about how her mind works and how she can make my life even better. 3 years ago we met Renee' 2 years ago finally figured out that the girl who I first thought was a cute piece of fluff had substance that I had not noted before. Started to have her working with us, going to events with us and she started working to fill in the gaps we had for demos. slowly making herself a part of the family 1 year ago told Renee' that as much as I liked her I didn't think we would make a good match. (little did I realize if you want to see Renee' get really motivated, you tell her something like that) Blast Off.......... Well after surprising me by actually finishing the petition process 16 hours of her answering the questions, followed by almost 2 weekends of discussing the answers and then me taking a couple months to draft a contract. The contract is being finalized, but this weekend since the details have been worked out while up in North Carolina I snapped the lock closed on a collar around her neck. No huge crowd of guests, just whoever happened to be at the party at the time. I'm looking forward to seeing where the relationship will take us as a family and as individuals. Current Mood: excited (18 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 22nd, 2008
8:56 pm	I'm magicly getting smarter (Yay) Teengirlkidlette got her first check from her first job. We had already warned her about Uncle FICA, figured she'd be shocked enough without it being a total surprise. So she comes in and I chuckle as I ask her how she likes her Uncle FICA. and how much he took. She says $20 for a five day period, didn't leave her with alot but still proud of her entering the working world. Picked at her a little bit about how Social Security and Medicare are not even expected to be there for her mom and I, let alone her. And then she asked what the Income Tax part went for. She's now I'm sure complaining about the government. I asked her how dull politics was now that she was paying for some of it. YAY I'm getting magicly smarter (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 17th, 2008
9:34 am	A Daddy boi moment Some folks know, Lane my boi is visiting for a few days (post SELF). People have asked mostly face to face but some online what benefits I might receive from a Daddy boi relationship with a lesbian. Since the usual benefits of a D/s relationship don't seam to be in the perview of the relationship. Well sometimes it's the really simple things in life that give you moments of real joy. I'm working in my office, there is a knock on the door, Lane is asking if I'd be OK with her going to spend some time with an old girlfriend who lives not too far away and it might be overnight. It took all of a few seconds for me to start thinking about the various questions I wanted answered before saying sure OK. The interaction was simple. a few questions dealing mostly with how this visit would be viewed by current relationships, cautioning about how Lanes life was pretty full and complex and I wanted to be sure Lane had considered those other folks important in her life etc. had been considered. Of course they had been I was just being a concerned Daddy. The simple joys of being a Daddy, I was chuckling off and on for hours at the exchange. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 2nd, 2008
12:40 am	Jim Ford Rest well and god's speed Jim Ford a member of A.S.S. succumbed to complications with a hiatal hernia which means that the stomach slides up into the chest next to the heart. Prior to joining A.S.S. Jim was a regular at the Sunday Leathermen’s Social. Please join Mr. Gorge, the members of A.S.S. and his friends this day as we remember and celebrate his life. My first memory of Jim was at Spring In the South a couple years ago. Viola Johnson was giving a talk on the history of Leather and although I had heard her speak on the subject several times nothing else on the schedule held much interest for me. The session had already started and Jim had the rare privledge of having Vi all to himself. I joined in and a little later one more man came in. Jim was asking questions and seeking answers and it was such a joy to see him getting the benifit of Vi's experience and her way with educating those of us who show the interest. This man's energy and the way you could tell he enjoyed life will be missed and remembered, it serves as an example to us all of why leathermen are special. In Leather Archer (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 12th, 2007
9:58 pm	Earned Leathers - A Reply Last week Elegant had in her journal an entry with comments about Earned leathers. There were many good responses but this one really struck me a bit as something not often addressed. ahpook_is_here Wrote: Here's a serious question - who vets the person who gives the earned leather? If a person does something to "earn" the leather, what does the person giving the leather have to do to qualify to A). make such a decision about "earned" versus "unearned", and to B). qualify to give the leather itself? My feelings on "earned leather" are that it is an intensely personal gift between two people, with special relevance and significance between those two people, and no one else. However, the larger meaning of "Earned Leather" is that it is something that should be recognized by the community. And, until someone can come up with a vetting system that the whole community can agree on regarding the merits of who gives it and who gets it, I see it as another way that people play the "I'm more real than you" game.   So who vets who gives leathers? The thing about leather that is earned is that it comes with a story, “Mrs X presented this vest to me as a token of her admiration of my doing XYZ.” This provides the world with all the vetting information they should need. Mrs X has a reputation for being pretty tight on the standards she uses to evaluate a person. The recognized character trait/ skill learned/ service to the community was expressed and we get to evaluate for ourselves based on these things if we trust the judgment of the person and agree with the evaluation of the reason. Earning leathers isn’t about being more real; it’s about the stories and the recognition of growth. The stories that inspire others to adopt the values we hold, and to grow in their own ways. Another thing that vets earned leathers is when a club or organization awards them. Sometimes the club has a system that sets out the various hoops someone has to jump through to earn their leathers within that club. If clubs are going to start (continue?) doing this, and I hope they will, then one thing they need to realize is the reputation of the club will be affected by the standards they hold their members to. It’s a dilemma to be inclusive of all who come and exclusive in what we recognize as the very best of character knowledge and service. The club has to expect that as a group if they are going to recognize a standard that they will be judged according to how high they set the bars.       (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 11th, 2007
1:36 pm	OSHA Fun A sample of the research I do as an OSHA instructor: Friday The 13th In Africa How Men Screw Up Romance (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 9th, 2007
12:10 am	Another look back at Primal Purge Looking back again over the past couple weeks and I find I was far less successfull with not absorbing the rage than I had thought. Anger levels in my own head have been magnified. Processing it has been more difficult much shorter fuse than normal. The presence of it has made clarity much more difficult, job functions tougher, normal joys tougher to reach. Been a real rough ride now that the extra effort is not being exerted to remain detatched. Thinking about it today I'm not sure I can do it again without more work on not absorbing it. If I don't find new and better ways to handle my part, I'm thinking it's not safe for me to attempt it again anytime in the next year or two. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 26th, 2007
11:26 pm	Looking back on the Primal Purge Ritual Few presentations have ever filled  me with such trepidation as the presentation we did for CAPEX in Charlotte NC this past weekend. The purpose of the presentation was to discuss and demonstrate a tactic for purging built up rage so that the underlying issues might be better addressed. When we first looked at doing this I was OK cool make her mad and have pads and such so when she comes at me I can just absorb the rage and we'll be good. LOL Yeah like anything is ever so simple. As we went on about researching and developing the protocols for the class, the next stop was a bit more frightening for me than others. I mentioned to Elegant " This is going to be a bit like me bottoming to a humiliation scene."  She replied "Yes it is."  At this point I'm practically looking for a way we can opt out of presenting this topic. Years ago had a bad experience with submission and I was not looking forward to this ritual at all. Even caught myself thinking OK So she really just wants to turn the table on me, and this isn't going to be very pretty. As I went on actually looking both at what backup class we might offer and how I could make my end of the ritual a bit more palatable while not removing the benefits Elegant would get from the release I finally stumbled on the obvious. If I remain detached and simply focus on drawing out the emotions without buying into the anger, without allowing myself to be drawn into a defensive mindset I might get through this. Now it's getting to look complicated enough to believe I might actually be looking at it correctly. We presented the research well together, with a good back and forth flow. (actually since this was originally her idea I let her take the lead adding in my points on acting as a facilitator for this ritual). The flow was not lost on the audience as we later heard it was noticed by several folks how well we traded back and forth. Class time over time to prepare for the demonstration. Break time was significantly less private than I had hoped for as people wanted to discuss the class up to this point. But it did tell me we had struck a cord with people. During the break Elegant comes to me and says she's not sure she can do this. Great now she tells me, LOL. Convincing her that she could was kinda surreal after the trepidation I had experienced leading up to this. I was surprised during and after the ritual I was far less challenged that I expected to be staying focused on not being defensive mentally but rather focusing on monitoring Elegant's progress. Leaving details out here After the ritual Elegant was spent crying and wanted to disappear. I helped her outside and away from people letting her no her guilt and remorse at some of the things she had said were not nessisary. The whole reason was to dig deeper and get past the nicities of protocol and respect, to provide new fodder for communication. Resulting comments from much of the group was that they felt a bit odd, kinda like they had been seeing something they were not supposed to see. Voyeuristic, kinda like rubbernecking a bad accident. Can't turn away but feel kinda bad about watching. Still have not put most of what we dug up towards the goal of better communication, but it seems to have lightened Elegant's heart and soul a bit, so bonus. We'll see over time if the original goal benefits or not. (9 Comments |Comment on this)
11:20 pm	A cool pay it forward give away I am joining in on Master Fire Ma'am took someone else up on this and I thought I'd join in as well. For the first three people that reply to me and re-post this challenge - I will send you something that I think rocks. It might be something I've made, or something cool, it might be a mix CD - or a rubber duck, a spoon (okay, not really), a book I think you will enjoy, or something else that is awesome. Whatever it is, I promise that I will get it to you in 365 days or less. (I will need your snail mail if you want to participate.) The only thing you need to do in order to participate is to be one of the first three to reply to this, AND post this very same thing on YOUR live journal - cause its fun to give people stuff. Current Mood: Generous (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007
1:29 am	MEME OK I was tagged for a MeMe. Not gonna do the tagging someone else though. 7 little known/ unusual things about yourself 1. I was actually born in a Hurricane, Betsy specifically the second day it hit Ft Walton Beach. 2 I am the product of a Tennessee mountain boy and a California beatnik 3. Multiple Food Quirks     Almost never eat before noon     Leftovers have to be over one day but under three otherwise I'm not eating them.     I actually like brussel sprouts 4. I have no problem starting projects , it's finishing them that gives me trouble, LOL     For every ten projects I start I may finish one 5. My biggest non kink interest is primitive technologies 6. About the only thing I really hate on TV is mainstream team sports 7. My ex brother in law is my brother in law. (My ex wife's brother married my sister)         (Yes they live in Alabama.) (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 10th, 2007
8:05 pm	More than a little surprized Elegant was "let go" from the SELF board, Impressions are all I have right now other than knowing Elegant's side of the situation. Certainly have some opinions but really at the moment choosing tact over emotion with some difficulty. Having left a message asking to be called back and not yet having received the call has me a bit aggravated. I think the big surprise was to see negotiations cut short before we had even decided for certain what the final position would be. Hadn't determined what would be requirements only having an idea of what was wanted and putting that forth and having the decision made seemingly because Elegant dared to not instantly agree to whatever was offered. We had talked about what Elegant wanted and what I would want as far as how much of her time I was willing to part with, but even between the two of us we had come to no decision as to what would be a deal breaker and what would not. A call cut short because I was waiting on her to give some assistance with a household task I took some lunch time to work on so I could get back to my job  desk, seeming to be the tipping point for a decision. (Backspaces through further commentary and leaving it at this for now.) Current Mood: stressed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, June 11th, 2007
7:52 pm	My speech from SE Master slave Contest When someone first unearths the world of Leather and BDSM, they find that they are not the only ones in the universe that have these desires and the numbers are much larger than they ever expected or even hoped for. We all found ourselves awash in information and opinions, trying to stabilize ourselves as we try to find out where we fit in this new world. Generally we at least know if we are in the generic sense a top or bottom, we know if we have a desire to submit or dominate (or even possibly that we want both) Other than that we are pretty much lost in the sea of possibilities. So often someone will read a little and talk a little and when they see something they like or that makes them hot they instantly adopt the identification of those that are doing those things. I would suggest that this is a pretty lame shortcut when adopting a new identity in the new community we discover. There has been a trend to make the titles of slave and Master the summit of a leather or BDSM journey. I find that this trend is almost always at the center of the Master/ slave vs. Dominant/ submissive identity debates. The whole idea that the goal for everyone is to shift the highest level of power exchange is as destructive as any other factor I can imagine to those who are beginning their journey.   A slave is not better than a submissive based on the level of service they give to their owner, they are different, A Master is not better than a Dominant based on the level of control they exert over their partner, they are different. The idea that someone who is suited to a TPE is somehow better than someone who is suited to very limited power exchanges is just total bunk. It is an idea whose time has come to be rejected by all of us and consigned to the scrap heap of ideas where it belongs. As a whole we are in fact all equal Tops, bottoms, Masters, slaves, submissives, Dominants, we are all people. We just have some different needs as far as how we live our lives. It seems to me that we have a bit of "Keeping up with the Jones's Syndrome" when it comes to titles and identities. This being said if I have succeeded in muddying the waters further and in effect that is my goal. Finding where you fit shouldn't be a short-term project. Self Identifying should be a struggling study in who you are, what you want, what you need, and only then can you claim any meaningful identity, and even that is subject to change over time. (8 Comments |Comment on this)
7:43 pm	SELF I am truly blessed is all I could think of all weekend long. The support shown by the community and all the things people did for us to allow us to compete during SELF. My leather family came through bigger and better than anyone could hope for. boi Lane earned a vest over the weekend for all the service above and beyond saving my nerves and Elegant's nerves for the contest worries that only we could do. greygore21and gerygorysgirl helped in preparing earlier helped with both set up and break down and gregorysgirl made extra sure Elegant didn't fall back into old habits of doing SELF stuff and focus on the contest. The moral support offered by my leather family made it possible without completely killing ourselves. efire, kathleen, her Daddy Nick, Sam and mandy  made the vending possible. They didn't help us vend they vended for us and did a fantastic job. We spent all of I think 4 hours Friday and Saturday combined in our own booth and they handled the rest for us, asking for so little in return that I'll be feeling guilty for months. Wayne Brawner helped us greatly with hair (LOL from a bald man) shaved my head before the weekend making it possible to just do the upkeep did His_elegant's hair before and during the contest. Putting the auction baskets together floored me, we started off with a tiny idea and the donations flooded in we asked and we recieved ten fold what anybody could have imagined. I'm leaving off so many folks but I only have a single LJ and they worry about bandwidth. If I thanked everyone who made it possible for us to compete they might cancel my account. We went we competed and we didn't win the contest. Yet even so we come away with more than most folks realize of the reasons we wanted to compete. Congratulations go to Sir Top and slave bonnie they came into the contest thinking they had almost no chance, they showed the judges and the community who they were and they will be a fantastic representative for the SE region. I appreciated all the folks who mentioned how our class or our speeches affected them, we brought what we believe in to the contest and the feedback from people saying what we said clicked for them or needed so much to be said certainly makes us proud of what we did. For those not there for the contest Elegant posted her speech in her LJ and I'll post mine after this post. Again I feel so blessed with all the support. And now that the contest is over it's time to GET BACK TO WORK doing many of the same things that we did before the contest. We're certainly going to take a page from the Book of Karen (Ultra Domme) and continue doing the things we think need to be done saying the things we feel need to be said, and loving the opportunities we are provided to do so. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, May 25th, 2007
11:05 pm	My boi has moved to Ohio it hits me very couple days that this relationship coming out of the blue a year or so ago has sunk its subtle hooks into me in ways I had never noticed. I miss Lane even though the time actually spent together was small (scheduling was often a problem) and when we did spend time it always seemed Lane was helping with something we were doing and that time to talk and discuss Lane's growth as a leather woman was on the back burner. I guess this is my own little leather version of Empty Nest Syndrome, LOL The new nest (owning my first home) is starting what looks to be a great chapter in life. Can't find half the things I want to find, Stacks of boxes remain blocking access to the things I want/need to reach in the garage. Elegant is working her butt off trying to get the hose pulled together into a HOME for me. I've found myself falling into new behaviors that I'm glad to see in myself. You never understand how someone can work on a home improvement and enjoy it until you own the home it seems. Oh NOOOOOOOO I'm becoming domesticated, LOL I've installed a new gate, even found myself sweeping off the deck last week before I even knew it I was taking care of house stuff. Something Elegant was always troubled by my lack of motivation to do at the old rental. OWNERSHIP hmmm it's a motivating factor for me, no wonder I became a Master, *grin* (side note on current music) Listening to the traffic report has become a little bit too satisfying again (since I office from home)  Laughing at those poor bastards driving in Atlanta traffic on Memorial Day Friday (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 17th, 2007
4:12 pm	Sleep came late last night We've been filling out the applications for the SE Master slave contest. The questions on the application are often used as a base for questions you get asked on stage and or in the interviews. We've been to enough of these contests to know what we are getting ourselves into for the most part. We often have spent the drive home after an event answering the questions the contestants were asked. In fact that may be the biggest learning we get from an event, the examination of our own relationship based on the questions the judges asked or the way a contestant handled a question. The question I think kept me up examining myself last night was the ever present "Why do you want this title" Very open ended and potentially very telling. The basic answer the one I answered with was the truth as best as can be told in the 2 lines or so provided. I enjoy teaching/ presenting/ facilitating discussions on the M/s relationship dynamic the title will open more doors and provide more opportunity for us to pursue those opportunities. We have a different take on M/s and would love the expanded opportunities to share what we have discovered works for us. But beyond that reason there are so many other reasons. The selfish reasons, the learning we will have in return. Every M/s titleholder I know well has spoken about the surprising return they get learning from folks all trough their title year. Recognition and affirmation of our achievements of course (the ego boost) etc. The chance to travel around the region as well as the M/s Contest circuit and meet folks I've read and heard about for so long.  The list of reasons goes on. Stopping there for today but trying to make sure I post something every couple days or so now Next Time My Boi has moved away we're still family but the distance s going to require that I work harder online. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 26th, 2007
10:29 pm	The rest of the Story I assume here that if you are reading this you read Elegant’s journal as well. She has been journaling about the experience at SWLC this past weekend. During the weekend she got jealous when I spent some time and played in private with someone else. While it is my right in the relationship to do so, as I often say having the right does not mean acting on it is the right thing to do.   First let me start with the basics of she has done a good job boiling down the story and processing her hurt feelings. When the situation happened I was kinda taken by surprise that she was hurt, but rather than get defensive about it I held my tongue for the most part answered her questions and tried to simply let her process what she was feeling. After all feelings are valid, she was hurt by something I did do, even if the hurt was not an intended consequence. I am still responsible for even the unintended consequences of my actions. ( The rest of the story ) (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 1st, 2007
3:23 pm	Time to look back, and forward OK Gonna be a little unoriginal here fall back on the traditional New Years activity. Looking back: "Back to Basics" was a good idea that like so many other good things got off track after having a little good effect. Guess it's time to go back at it again see if I can squeeze a little more good out of it this year. Classes that where just ideas, some have been finished others have been set back to simmer, and need a bit of stirring this year. Many projects around the house have been put off too long, guess I really gotta get some of my own stuff better organized and prioritized. Been working on that a little more at work, time to bring that home as well. Overall I think that I was used to a much simpler life and the lack of organization on my part never had much effect since 10 things cluttered and played by ear works, now though it's grown to 50 things and that same organization just isn't going to work. Looking Forward: In addition to the things above, Time to revamp the plan from several posts back, adjust it to realities and reset the next steps needed. Time to make the back to basics idea a bit less nebulous idea and a bit more concrete plan. Time to take another dose of medicine for this danged flu bug. Since the brain is only functioning about half speed today I think that this will be cut short today and gotten back to when I'm more clear headed. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, December 11th, 2006
11:46 pm	My own earned leathers The Earned leather class posting generated a few questions/ replies and after looking at the length of the reply I formed I think it needs it's own post. In 10 years I have 4 pieces I consider as earned leather, I wear more sometimes, however when I am teaching the class I wear only that which I have earned. I stress the idea that the main thing is to acknowledge what has been earned and what has not been. Although I am guilty of do as I say not as I do in that I am having my boi lane earn every piece. Had I had the mentoring opportunities available before my start time or available today I think I would have opted to go through a full earnings program. My idea today is that there are once again enough experienced leather folk around to make going back to earning leather worthwhile for those comming in today. Having missed the opportunity myself I want to try to make sure others following behind me do not. Now on to my 4 pieces of earned leather I earned my boots by claiming them, When I first got the basic understanding of earned leather I was already several years in, I claimed my boots because during my service time I learned most of my leather care information, added to that the fact that I was a leather (skins) artisan and had the depth of leather (skins) knowledge, that was one of the criteria sets I learned many used for earning boots, so I kinda claimed them. Coincidentally it was about that same time that Elegant wanted to learn to do my boots for me and I started her off learning what bootblacking skills I could based on my knowledge, so by being responsible for the creation of a bootblack I figure my boots are quite well earned. Elegant gifted me with a vest several years ago and since gifted and passed down are considered earned in many camps I consider that the vest fits the criteria. Later learning of one criteria in that the vest was awarded when someone in the community recognized you had internalized a leather heart, it fit right in that she give me that piece. I was presented with a Master's cover at SELF 2005 as a gesture from several community Masters in the area that they thought my service to the community both directly and in time I allow my slave to work for the community, as well as the acknowledgement that my skill level as a Top was of the appropriate level. Beckoning back to the writings of Guy Baldwin: " Leather, other than boots and belt, must be 'earned' through the achievement of successively challenging 'scenes.' I consulted some senior Tops I know about the ritual at SWLC last year (The Dance of Souls) after participating and having the self revelations it inspired I considered my belt as earned. Beyond that I am still working on earning my own leathers, I figure I have claimed enough time to let others recognize in me the rights to any more leather. I have my foundation(boots) my Heart (vest) my soul (belt) and my mind (Cover) What more do I need? Current Mood: nostalgic (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 20th, 2006
6:49 pm	Great Leather weekend As you already know (I assume you have read Elegant's journal first) Elegant and I attended the Florida Fetish Weekend this past weekend. After set up of the vending area I had an afternoon class to present, I was less than enthused with the 4PM Friday time slot. Friday before most people get off work tends to have slight attendance issue. Arrived at the classroom found 2 people ready for the class. (Letdown city) but I told them I would give the class anyway and that I intended to only wait a short time to see if anyone else was just running a little late. 3 minutes later, caveman attendance marketing failing to produce any more students, I started the class. Small classes can be great and this one was a fine example of how good they can be, there was one man in his 50's or so well read on Leather history but had been finding sparse references to earned leather decided to attend the class, the other attendee was a rather hot young gay man, with an interest in traditions, and history that you don't find very often in the young. AS I went through the class both parties asked good questions and got the best answers I could offer and where else to look for answers as well. Both seemed to enjoy the discussion and get something out of the class and were thankful for the resources I gave them to further their readings. The enthusiasm of the young man for the subject was not lost on the young man's group after the class, several of the group Goleather.org mentioned being sad they had not been able to attend. The end of the class that day was spent with J (the young man) asking how he can earn leathers when nobody he knows seems to be interested or qualified to present them. We came up with a few ideas for him and his group and advised him on how to approach someone and how to make the best "educated guess" as to who would have the information. Saturday morning comes and J comes to find me , He tells me that amazing as it could seem no sooner had he mentioned that he was interested in earning his leathers a mentor type person for his group a man with 30 years or so of leather experience along with a couple other leathermen who had been around awhile and watching his progress took him over to the leather shop and bought him an armband, presenting it to him as his first piece of earned leather. The snowball effect was evident all weekend long the group had been talking and the idea had been broached and the presenting of first pieces of earned leather happened 3 or 4 times over the weekend. AMAZING what one class to 2 people can result in over the period of a single weekend. The Leather Gods were listening when I sent out my prayer, Let this class make a difference to someone. Current Mood: accomplished (8 Comments |Comment on this)